Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
