Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
