Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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