Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
