I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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