she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
