Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
