great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
