tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
