Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
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