And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
