it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
