Small penises have feelings too.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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