Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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