so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
