Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
