we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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