Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
