you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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