i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
