New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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