"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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