cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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