my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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