He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize