i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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