Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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