he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
