Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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