You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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