Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
