There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
