Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize