Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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