When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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