My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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