Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
