It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
