you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize