Duck Duck Cougar?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
