Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
