Already got asked if we're dating
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Randomize
