I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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