I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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