I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
