Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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