I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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