I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
