Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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