And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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