Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
