farters have to be the big spoon...
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
