i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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