The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
