I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
