bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
