i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Shitshow foam night was such a success
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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