Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
