How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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