im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize