Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
