I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
